Very Drunk now!

But who cares?! I have been drunk for the past 2 nights. I can't be bothered anymore. What sleek clean image do I have? What the heck is that?!

I am very drunk now, and very angry. I recount the times when I have been taken advantage of as a friend by some of my friends! I hate to be so calculative, and I am not asking that my help rendered to you has to be reciprocated in kind. But recall how you have been treating me. Like when I have an appointment with you and you fly my kite intentionally. Or prioritize your other friends over me. Why should I be at your beck and call, filling in your free time and empty slots and crawling away like a dog once you have found some nice activity? Sometimes I wonder if the problem lies with me or it is simply I am so unlucky as to meet friends like these. Are these people friends in the first place? Fair-weather ones who ask for help from you and yet selfish enough to refuse you when you need it, or callous enough to ignore your pleas, or think of you only when they want something from you. They can be earnest in having their ends met with your assistance but when only you and only you are concerned, regress into a reclusive mode or some state of memory loss at their own convenience. The worst thing is that these so-called friends are not even aware of the pain that they may have inflicted upon others. Yes, I feel that I have been taken for granted!

Man is really selfish. I am nothing but pessimistic towards human nature. I am one myself and have always thought that I am not an impeccably good person. Now I realize that many others are worse. 朋友之间熟归熟，最基本的礼貌还是要有的。如果跟你熟你就觉得对不起我是ok的，那我宁可跟你保持距离！熟了还被你欺负，你只欺负自己人，这是什么道理？？I hate myself for having come across as a petty idiot, and it is because of these so-called friends that I am now like this. This is it man. Enough is enough. Don't bother asking me for help in the future. If you are one of the guilty ones of the above charges, you should feel a tinge of guilt if you are still feeling (doubt you would read my blog anyway). If not, I must be wasting my drunkard breath here. To the guilty ones: how many times have you helped me or kept in touch with me? Especially those who are now doing marketing and selling policies!!

I will not delete this post even in my sober state. This entry is a real testament of what I have been feeling all this while. Agony and anger. 我要为自己而活! I thought that as a jovial Buddhist I should have "seen through the red dust" but as a matter-of-fact, I am still human at heart.

Taiwan rocks. It was love at first sight. It is also a place where I have forged great friendships and met friends who would really walk the extra mile just to make my every single stay in Taiwan a fun and rewarding one. I shall have no qualms flying over for my retirement.

To the f**k**g "friends": Bye! Lead your own lives and I will lead mine, without you in sight!

They say that if you want to know a person or his character, just observe his friends. Friends are a mirror image of yourself. I must have been a bad friend. Sorry if I am indeed so. My deepest apologies here.