Regretful but happy

If not for my itchy fingers, I would have enjoyed a complete score of five. My past decision had ramified into an irrevocable mistake. I am, nonetheless, happy. Contentment fills the air that I inhale. What more can I ask for? Happiness lies in the heart of the beholder.

Some things never change

We are now living in the twenty-first century. Yet parents have been telling their children that if they don't study hard, they will have to dump rubbish for others. I wonder if some teachers entertain the thought too. Anyway, with such remarks, these parents have contributed to the very rubbish that they are talking about. Good grades equal good jobs? Education should never be commodified! In my capacity as a prospective graduate, I shall defy conventional wisdom and social norms. I will be receiving less than 2000 bucks per month for the next few years. And hence open to scorn and criticism. About me being a vermin of society who leeches onto the riches of others. Fine. If this is what it takes individually to dispel the dumb discrimination against the lowly-educated.

Cute Pandas to Taiwan

Cute eh? They are named "Tuantuan" and "Yuanyuan".

Interesting?

It should remain the moral imperative of the civil society to denounce any form of unjust propaganda by either words of speech or acts of deeds. Even if they are committed by a single individual. Mixing personal issues with general affairs is irrational, irresponsible and stupid. Overwhelmed with emotions, someone with stones for brains had sprouted some amoral nonsense in some part of the world. This very someone obviously has some distorted code of morals in her. Indeed, not very Buddhist of her. Oops.

Redundant

Zong Hao and his newfound accomplice Alex had just crushed me at the table. Losses were not recouped, and a new tragedy unveiled. Derrick, however, treated me to a Thai dinner and promised to have my Jacky Wu CDs autographed during his Taiwan trip. A tasty and satisfying consolation, I guess!

Sometimes I would wonder if it is necessary for me to stare at the mirror every morning to groom myself in preparation for the day. Looking into the mirror is akin to seeing a portrait. I am trying to present myself in a way deemed acceptable by other people. In a way that I can identify myself with as well. On a personal note, what's the point for me? Most of the people whom I meet are either my friends or mere strangers. If my friends dislike me because my hair is not in place or I have forgotten to shave, then they are the superfluous ones whom I can forgo. I love my single but unavailable life, and there is no incentive for me to impress gals and attract unnecessary attention. My verdict of the day, therefore, is that I should spend less time at the basin and wash up just enough to face the world. Just for courtesy, not vanity.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/2006-11-25-/3452073438

What is Life?

Kenny just asked if I am feeling depressed. I had long passed that phase. My youth is past. I have reached an impasse. In life. Most, if not all, things are now transient to me. No more press interviews. No more contests or competitions. No more awards. No more grades. No more conferences, seminars or talks. No more glory and fame. No more ceremonies and dinners. No more functions and parties. I hanker after these no more. I used to. But absolutely no more. I shall not update my profile for greater prominence and more opportunities. Neither will I seek to improve myself for the sake of improvement. Progress (Power) corrupts. I must be in tune with the Flintstones. No need for 933 and 98.7.

Bored, and hence thinking too much? Not exactly, with my research in a stalemate. Lack of a "special someone"? I think I will be more troubled if I have one. Jacky said that with such a mentality one cannot hope to excel in this country. In total agreement with this view, I had never and will not hope to achieve. I had long come to terms with how I feel. I am actually a happy-go-lucky person now. I just don't understand why people around me are so bothered by the present and the future. Am I sane? I think I am. Still. At least for now. I feel more Buddhist than ever. But not reclusive. Please don't distort my meaning here. :-)

Taureans are never suicidal. This entry may sound sad but I am actually happy. I look forward to more gatherings and overseas trips in the near future. As for events that may spread my name far and wide, I will give them all a miss. Even if they are held in America.

MSN Chats

I had just chatted with Debby, Gail, Jacky and Peggy online. A pesky mosquito kept disturbing me. My killer instinct was aroused for the first time in several months.

A brief summary of what we had talked about is as follows:
Debby questioned me on my sexuality.
Gail asked me some questions pertaining to Chinese history.
Jacky argued with me over some issues and plans.
Peggy provided me with details of what I can expect from my upcoming Taiwan trip.

Nice chats on the whole! I must remain optimistic about the future. Life is not about maximum payout, but optimal play.

To Derrick: Your proposed plan is feasible but troublesome. There will be too many transfers involved. Please seek transport to Taipei and work your way from there. It will be much easier.

Recent Updates

Met up with loads of people in the past 2 weeks. Jiahao, Tipin, Andrew, Nick, Raymond, Jiayi, Yong Chang, Crystal, Melvin, Boredin, Sam, Soon Kit, Joseph, Teng Hui, Jane, Jacky, Jianhao, Daniel Lee, Sor Hui, Cheryl, Daniel Chua, Derrick, Zong Hao, Seng Hwa, Chee Ming, Kenny, Si-Rong, Siyu, Daniel Lim, Dingguo, Bryan, Nian Long, Rachel, Shaun etc. Hope I have not left anyone out. Will be meeting Gail and gang next week. Happy that Debby and Vivian read my blog from Hong Kong. My professor must not know of all these. I have not completed my data compilation and field research yet. Here's my recent photo with Dingguo and Bryan.

Wacky Jacky's Favourites

Author: Jared Diamond
Chinese drama serial: Towards the Republic
Film of all time: Battlefield Earth
Japanese drama serial: Furuhata Ninzaburo
Pastime: High tea
Sport: Cycling
Taiwanese actor, compere, singer: Jacky Wu
Taiwanese variety show: Guess x 3
Topic of Interest: History, Political Science

Embattled

The Battle of the Wall had ended. To my dismay, I was mortally crushed by a series of flying colours and changing sequences from three sides of the Wall. They were so dazzling that I began to see stars. Derrick, occupied at one side, seemed like an innocent "pig" when I first saw him. At the battle's end, however, I was devoured by the "tiger" of him. Now hopelessly hurt, I can only hope that he would read the very first entries of my blog, which I regard to be the very best that I had offered, if I can ever write at all.

My Common Sense of Nostalgia

I studied in Mei Chin Primary School. It became history following its closure in 2001 (?). Its name, however, resonates in my mind even as today. So be it for as long as it wants to.

I first stepped into the school in 1990, before which my poor memory could barely recall. If I have not been gravely mistaken, my first friends-cum-classmates were Melvin, Ruiliang, and Limin, none of whom should be reading this because we had long lost touch with one another (except for Melvin, but he knows nuts about this blog). And then by Primary 3 and 4, I got to know Crystal, Javern, Moiha, and Yonghan. Amongst others, these were the bunch with whom I had spent a significant part of my childhood.

I was never too bright a student in primary school. I fared badly in class tests and final exams. I was too talkative for my own good. But it takes two hands to clap. I was, however, the unlucky one to be punished most of the time. Just my luck I guess. No grudges borne though. Those were the innocent days when I spent each day without thinking how the next would be.

I went home every day for my daily dosage of cartoons and TV programmes. I was so glad that my parents did little to interfere with my routine. The lazy bum of me simply hated sports and the rough outdoors, and Chip & Dale with their Disney friends kept me entertained for afternoons upon afternoons. Lackadaisical? But I loved such inactivity. I am the epitome of such a past.

Something changed all these. The wretched streaming system came and drove many parents into unnecessary panic, and to some extent including mine. I was marched into tuition without much of a consciousness of what it actually entailed, except for working through countless assessment books rather aimlessly. I usually copied the answers from behind and made some deliberate mistakes to make my assignments look "authentic" before submission, but my individual tests showed it all and I was often reprimanded for my lack of effort. Even my Chinese was bad during this period of nonachievement. I was, however, not at the least affected. I had not understood the importance of studying then.

The tuition did help, however. By a twist of fate, I found myself in an undersized EM1 class of only 8 students. I had an excellent teacher Mdm Tan who forced us to recite idioms and poems every lesson, and Chinese characters relentlessly flooded my brain until they were all too firmly imprinted to be dislodged. My EM1 stint was a turning point in my academic life. I finally felt a slight urge to maintain my grades and to pursue my interest in the Chinese Language.

The tuition helped in other ways too. I actually topped Maths in class on a few occasions. My class position rose to unprecedented levels after Primary 3. My English poem of 6 lines was chosen on display at the school bulletin boards. I was never too mindful of these things, because I had other pleasures to derive from my life then.

I loved my Social Studies projects. I think they had boosted my interest in current affairs and general knowledge. And they offered perfect opportunities for me and my project mates to enjoy some great fun at the playgrounds and games arcades. Ice-cream sticks and super-glue. Styrofoam boards and plasticine. I could always look forward to either Police-and-Thief and Street Fighter after my project ordeals were done. Eventually we got sick of queueing for our turn at the arcades, and when Yonghan's parents bought him a Sega set (?) we would piously visit his home everyday to discuss homework with him. On a pretext of course. Behind closed doors.

I dreaded rainy days. Earthworms abound under a shroud of muddy tracks that we walked on to get to school. Our young scientist Ruiliang would lead us all on a trail of adventure and excitement in his opinion. For me it was more of fear and disgust. Nonetheless, by peer pressure, I would drag my prudent feet with a few others to follow him in his daring explorations. Millipedes and toads often joined the earthworms in a concert of unison, and I simply prayed that they would not crawl onto me or cross my path for any reason.

Delinquency was in the air in my final primary school year. My classmates Ken and Denise were caught smoking at a carpark within the neighbourhood, and I happened to sit in between these two colourful characters. I myself was involved in a tussle with an EM1 girl and soon our parents became involved when it became too heated. I guess we just could not stand each other then. Kinda childish eh? Well, we were young and juvenile, and hence excusable!

My lazy bone has called out to me to stop acting like an old man. I should get some sleep before I really look like one.

无病呻吟

渐渐地
童年的记忆
曾几何时
烟消云散

放慢生活步伐
走的可能更远、更宽广
可就没人有勇气这么做
如此简单的事情
竟成为一种奢望

出卖灵魂
只为温饱
这样的温饱
值得存在吗

长大的烙印逐渐形成
天真的幻想逐渐破灭
物质的享受
麻木了颗颗
变质的心灵
一切变得空荡荡的

算了
习惯就好

没有依赖

没有期待

没有伤害

Generous Donations!

Wow! I had either messaged (only to those whom I thought would help) or spoken directly to some friends to ask for contributions in aid of the Sichuan quake victims, and Chee Ming, Crystal, Derrick, Gail, Kenny, Si-Rong, Soon Kit, and Yuting all pledged to make donations (not to me of course but through the various channels; some of whom did so without my appeal). They offered sums that vary from SGD 50 to SGD 300. In any case, it was kind generosity on display, even though many of them are not working adults! Not to be outdone, I shall cut down on my shopping and hence my expenses in my impending trips to Beijing and Taipei.

Humans have short attention and memory spans. The overwhelming emotions that we feel for the victims at present may not stay with us for long, but the agonizing pain suffered by the victims themselves may linger on forever. The damage had been done, and the psychological scar wallowed in. Facing the aftermath is just as crucial as the tackling the disaster. Our aid must continue. Sustain it!

Fund-Raising for China

Singaporeans are kind, having donated millions in kind to help the quake victims in China. Taiwan, however, has offered the biggest amount of foreign aid in monetary terms, amounting to nearly 70 million USD. As I have always said, the Taiwanese are rich!

Please, everyone! It is all for a good cause! Donate if you can!

Thesis completed: Abstract

Thanks to its success in economic reform, China in recent decades has rapidly transformed its economic and political landscape, rekindling global academic interest in the country and its people. However, analyzing and interpreting developments in China has always been and will remain a daunting challenge for both non-specialists and China experts. China’s diversity, a product of its enormous size, is an important feature that has contributed to the challenge. To rule the vast country effectively, China’s governance from the imperial age of dynasties to the present has to function at multiple administrative levels, but this is only a lesser aspect of its political operations.

Given China’s diversity, what then actually holds China together? Renowned American anthropologist James L. Watson argues that a perceived, perceptible unified culture is the key to holding China together. If anything is central to the creation and maintenance of a unified Chinese culture, it has to be the standardization of ritual. This view forms the essence of Watson’s “Orthopraxy Hypothesis”, which claims that for the Chinese state, the standardization of ritual practice takes precedence over efforts to legislate or control beliefs, resulting in profound consequences for the creation of a unified cultural system. By enforcing orthopraxy (correct practice) instead of orthodoxy (correct belief), state officials were able to incorporate people from different ethnic or regional backgrounds, with varying beliefs and attitudes, into an overarching social system we now call China. Such is the strategy that has enabled Chinese culture to reach the coherence and uniformity that we see today.

Using Watson’s hypothesis as a theoretical framework, this paper argues that the Chinese imperial state had indeed valued rites over beliefs in its flexible and realistic construction of a unified culture. The paper presents this argument by discussing the City God cult in the Song and Ming dynasties, and in particular how the religious cult was merged with the state as a symbiotic tool to govern the local populations which had resided far from the direct jurisdiction of the political centre. In state opinion, ritual standardization in the approved sequence performed by the people was very much cultural unity on display.

Underlying the City God cult was indeed the fabric of a unified culture that had successfully accommodated the various backgrounds and beliefs borne by the people. By comparing Watson’s hypothesis with the opposing arguments presented by other scholars, the paper will also examine the limitations and the validity of the hypothesis in exploring issues pertaining to Chinese culture. The paper will conclude that the City God cult per se and the assumption of a unified Chinese culture fostered by the imperial state was a social, ideological construct and illusion aimed at promoting effective governance over diverse populations.

Thesis completed: Acknowledgements

James L. Watson is a renowned American anthropologist, and it was out of sheer ignorance that I knew of his “Orthopraxy Hypothesis” only in late 2007. I must thank Jack for introducing me to the hypothesis which I now use to form the crux of my thesis. My heartfelt gratitude goes to Peggy for having airmailed me some research materials from Taiwan. I am indebted to Siyu, Yong Chang and Yuting for taking the time off to proofread my drafts. I am grateful to my family for providing a loving environment under which this thesis is completed, and for nursing my weak constitution when I was down with bouts of flu while writing it.

This thesis marks the end of my academic life at NUS. I thank A/P Peter Pang for giving me many opportunities to learn and experience in USP, A/P Albert Teo for his care and friendship, and the USP admin staff for their fun-loving nature. At the Chinese Studies department, I enjoy the unreserved assistance of A/P Lee Chee Hiang and the office staff. At the NUS Chinese Library, I benefit from the dedicated service offered by its friendly librarians. Indeed, this thesis is a true epitome of the wonderful experiences that I have shared with these individuals over the years.

Last but definitely not least, I would like to extend my gratitude to my thesis supervisor A/P Lee Cheuk Yin for his guidance and inspiration. It is through him that I am exposed to a comprehensive overview of how academic inquiry and research should be conducted. I thank him for all the recommendation letters that he has written for me, the delightful coffee treats in Beijing, and my appointment as his research assistant. I am grateful for his expertise when my thesis became engaged in tautology and for his patience when I could not submit my drafts on time. He has to be the best thesis supervisor that a student can have, and this thesis would not have been possible without him. All fault and responsibility, however, remains invariably mine. Thanks to all my friends as well!

Fulbright Association dinner

I had just attended the Fulbright Association dinner at USP's invitation. The dinner was held at the Tanglin Country Club, frequented by the Americans who reside in Singapore. I wore a suit, and my friends would know how stifling that was for me.

In any case, I am not anywhere near my goal of heading to the States. I mingled with the USP gang half the time, and spent the other half eating my full-course dinner. I had never liked socializing and making small talk for the sake of it. Anyway, it was fine dining literally and I had enjoyed the food. At the dinner's end, Kishore Mahbubani gave us a talk on how Asia has influenced the world and will continue to do so in the next decades to come. This century will belong to Asia, it seems. My USP professor won Mahbubani's autographed new book through a lucky draw, but he gave it to me because I had expressed my interest in laying my hands on it before the dinner. So embarassing. I thank him for his generosity.

The Fulbright Association is prestigious, and its dinner posh. I felt honoured to be invited to it. This shall be my last moment of glory before I leave USP 2 months later.

Important Notice:

5月12日，中国四川省汶川县发生7.8级强烈地震，造成巨大人员和财产损失。中国政府和人民正全力投入救灾工作。
　　新加坡各界人士高度关注中国灾情，纷纷致电我馆表示慰问，并提出捐款要求。我们对此深表感谢。
　　为便于各界捐款，中国大使馆已设立如下帐号，接受电汇、财路及现金捐款。
　　收款人名称：Sichuan Earthquake Relief Fund-- Chinese Embassy
　　开户行名称：Bank of China Singapore Branch
　　帐 号：011-0-024188-6
　　同时，使馆也接受支票及现金捐款，支票抬头请填写“Sichuan Earthquake Relief Fund-- Chinese Embassy”。
　　无论何种捐款方式，都请提供姓名和联系方式。

中国驻新加坡大使馆
二00八年五月十四日

There is a saying: "God helps those who help themselves." Premier Wen and his people are currently facing one of the worst calamities in Chinese history. Please help them during this critical period. They offer us a stark contrast to the Burmese government, which has allowed one of Asia's worst catastrophes develop into a humanitarian crisis that no one sane enough would want to imagine.

I have already made a donation. Please do your part too.

我的一生

展翅高飞的友人，请留步！
我是毫不起眼的游人，
也是冷眼傲视的过客，
独自漂泊在滚滚红尘之间。
我此时出行，
只为躲避那沾满胭脂水粉的羁绊，
给自己保留点余地、纯真，
看来只是奢求，
可望而不可及。
奔波青春，
劳碌现在，
蹉跎未来，
好一个锦绣前程！
我的一生，
难道就仅能如此颓废？
友人啊友人！
我欲与你奔飞，
无奈却陷入泥沼之中，
无地自容，
无法自拔，
唯有认命，
做个永远的站台。

America

What charm does USA hold that has attracted so many of my friends (both Singaporean and Taiwanese), who flock to it every summer vacation? I have never been there before. I didn't go for my HPAIR conference in 2006, where I could have a taste of what Boston is like.

Frankly put, Taiwan offers me an outlet to escape from my Commencement Ceremony. I need a place that I am familiar with to prove right my decision to skip it. However, I am now increasingly curious about America. Maybe I should go there soon to experience the things that had captivated my friends so much.

First, from now on, I shall keep a lookout for the international conferences that will be held in America. Next, I need to submit my ethnographic data to earn my keep. Finally, off to the States I go. Whatever Wacky Jacky pledges to do, he will get it done.

平平无奇的一天

到国大医院探望玉婷，聊了三个多小时。手发炎了，仍以宫廷语言与朕对话，使朕无言以对。不过当然也聊了一些正经事，整个过程是开心愉快的。祝她早日康复，永保安康。

与佩颖越洋对话，求她代我向Bing说声Happy Birthday!，允之。台湾，我来也！

印度、土耳其，后会有期。先解决北京事项，才来安排台湾行程。刺激台湾经济，朕不遗余力。亏空国库，也义无反顾。反正国库空虚，有劳台湾众卿家掏出银两赈灾了。

与身在深圳的高品联系，知她安好，甚感欣慰。希望能与她聚首，无奈现实无情，人生一小小的诉求也无法实现。人生啊！

欲旧地重游，却物是人非。友人皆出游，独留过客守空情。

宪哥老了，高品，是时候我们接棒了。

一生命运似乎早已注定，与汉学结缘。正当朋友毕业后，将为未来做冲刺时，我裹足不前、固守原地，久久不肯离去。赫然发现，我只能回顾过去，不能展望未来。

原来我背负的，是中华五千年的文明、历史与文化，好一个重担，也难怪我无法如其他人一样，向前迈进。

Troubled

I didn't really want to attend the Commencement Ceremony, but I have been facing pressure from all sides. I need to display my filial piety, respect the professors and other individuals who have egged me on, as well as endure the accusations that have placed me in the realm of stupidity and eccentricity.

Frankly speaking, the Ceremony holds little purpose for me. As mentioned earlier, I am not at all happy that I will be graduating soon. Next, not that I am a big shot, but this Ceremony is definitely not a big thing to me: I have attended numerous ceremonies, seminars and conferences that are more "tua ki" (forgive my poor Hokkien) than this. Finally, I really want to offer my admission cards to those who covet them more than I do, namely Boredin. I may not be able to deliver on my initial promise to him.

My First-Class Honours friend Melvin (whose CAP wins mine by an entire grade) has also no intention of attending the Ceremony. He shares my sentiments. And he shares my birthday. Why do our CAPs differ by so much?! Sigh. Haha!

Anyway, however, filial piety has to come first. If you see me attending the Ceremony eventually, it will be my ethics and priorities on display. Nothing should ever be more important than the family.

Gratitude

Thanks to Debby and gang for their card and "shitty" gift from Hong Kong! I was so touched that I wept all night! Haha! Please visit Singapore soon. Or I can go over!

And thanks to those who had remembered the day and sent me the greetings that I was happy over! Thanks thanks!

I had completed my thesis on time. And I have gotten enough rest by now. It's time that I move on. My new project is the compilation of ethnographic data for the amount of research that I have conducted over the past few months. Then I can call it a day and start planning for my overseas trips. My plans so far have been nothing but a chaotic mess. Some organizations are simply too slow in their operations. I just can't help it too.

Code of the year: ykchan83@live.com